Disclaimer: This is my personal strategy, and by no means is it the best one. In addition, this guide will assume the Wal-Mart of choice is a Wal-Mart Supercenter, you know, the one with all the food and stuff and foodstuffs. In addition, this assumes the zombies are fast but fragile.
Everybody knows that everybody dies in 2012. But why? Because of a zombie apocalypse. Everybody in in the understanding that we all die in 2012 because of zombies. However, there is hope in this dimly-lit tunnel. Where? Wal-Mart Supercenter. This is the best place to be when the dead walk again, and why? There are tons of foods, supplies, clothing, entertainment, etc etc etc etc etc.
1. Seclude an area in the wal mart
There are various areas in Wal-Mart supercenter that you could transport all of your things to. However, some stores specialize in some things more than others. The easy way to go is just to move all your televisions, computers, refrigerators, clothes, etc to the food section, for the sole reason that eating is incredibly important. However, another section that you should consider is the gardening section. Farming will get extremely important when all the food you have currently spoils, if the apocalypse lasts that long, but in my opinion, you should always prepare for the worst case scenario. After you’ve decided on a place, move all your food, supplies, kitchen appliances and etc.
2. Barricade your section
Now you need to barricade your secluded area. Depending on your Wal-Mart, you may or may not have a section for wood and all that jazz or a hardware store close by. If you do, you’re in luck. However, for the less fortunate we’re going to have to find some stuff to barricade. The metal from the clothing sections might work, as well as other places, and you may be able to break down some walls to get some wood to barricade. Whatever you do, make sure it’s sturdy. Both shambling and fast zombies will be able to break down walls that aren’t very well reinforced, but if you make it strong enough, shamblers will only be able to break it little by little for the rest of your life, or fast zombies will eventually tire.
3. Freeze Food
Againl preparing for the long run is what you should be doing, unless you’re lazy, and I know you are. However, for the non-existent population of lazy people, this is going to take a lot of work. You’ll need to put food in ziploc bags, suck all the air out of them, and then freeze them. This way, the food with last longer. This step will take much less time if you’ve chosen the food section as your safe area in wal-mart, but it’s still up to you whether you think you can take the challenge of carrying food long distances.
4. Grow food
Wal-Mart has a gardening section, and as such, you should use it to grow your own food. Your frozen food might not last all to long, if the apocalypse goes on long enough, and you need a back up plan. In this case the backup plan is to grow your own food. Not only is it healthier, it’s organic, and it tastes good? Now hopefully you have someone who knows how to garden, otherwise your screwed. You should begin by finding enough soil to grow a crop of vegetables, and then plant the seeds. Yup. That’s it.
4. Look for guns
Your gun count will change from place to place, for example, in Canada, you’re lucky to be able to get a BB gun and maybe a hunting rifle. However, you may find more luck in areas in the US. Basically, you need to find as many guns, assemble as many guns, craft as many guns, whatever. Guns are important. What are you going to do if a zombie breaks through and you don’t have any weapons? Die, that’s what you’re going to do. Find guns, use guns, live.
5. Find Melee Weapons
Now, guns won’t last you the entire time. Or they will, but you’ll run out of ammo. Or they jam. Whatever the case, you need melee weapons. Now, melee weapons can be fun as well. You’ve got lawn mowers, chainsaws, play light sabers, pieces of wood. Whatever. You just need something to fend off the hordes when they’re about to dig in to your intestines and squeeze the remnants of your last supper into their eyes. Chainsaws and lawnmowers or anything that makes a loud sound for that matter will likely attract the hordes, so watch out for that.
6. Work out
Yes, even with your guns and melee weapons, you still need to rely on what your deity gave you. Your body. Now, not only do you need to build strength to be able to use the melee weapons more efficiently, you’ll be needing to do a lot of Cardio. If you’ve seen zombieland, you know that cardio is the first rule. In addition, you might want to work on your metaphorical guns in case you don’t have a melee weapon at hand. However, even if you have one, you still need to be able to use them, as i said before.
You basically just want to not die. I mean in theory you could kill yourself if you were depressed that your life is now void of anything except for surviving through the hordes of zombies. Just eat, kill if they come it, barricade, connect with other survivors in the area, etc. Whatever the case, just make sure you survive.
Now I know this seems a bit threatening to you couch potatoes, because likely you’ve never done it before except for with your hand. However, hopefully theres someone more attractive than you who can procreate with someone who’s obviously way out of your league. But just remember, you may be the person who has to do it some time, so watch out for that.
In conclusion, these are the steps I would take to survive inside a Wal-Mart. It’s not all fun and games, living in an imaginary zombie apocalypse. Actually to be honest it seems like it would be pretty awesome, but that’s beside the point. So remember, next time theres a zombie apocalypse, head to your nearest Wal-Mart supercenter.